Adapted from Positive Energy Harmony Books, April, 2004
It's important to learn how to read sexual energy in the world. In our busy lives we get hit by so much, so fast. Sexual vibes are a major part of that assault (especially relevant if you're an overwhelmed empath). Many of us don't realize we're exposed to them everywhere, are clueless about what we ourselves give off. Some vibes invigorate: a sweet good-night kiss; an acquaintance flashes you a winning smile; a friend admires how sexy you look. In contrast, negative vibes abrade: a construction worker's cat whistle on your way to work; a business associate calls you "babe"; another passenger on the train keeps ogling you. Signals come in. You're the receiver. Get accustomed to reading them.
As an Energy Psychiatrist, part of knowing my patients is reading their energy, from emotional to sexual. This doesn't require touching or even talking. Here's what I do: A new patient sits in my waiting room. I open the door. The first few seconds, I quietly notice my body responding as a kind of litmus paper registering their vibes. Some people exude a natural balanced sexuality. But, often, in our culture, both men and women are taught to lead with sexual energy, whether they're aware of doing so or not. Pow! In some people it's downright obnoxious, not respectful of boundaries. I read other patients' sexual energy as anesthetized, mummified, or withheld, particularly with the abused. Here an awakening is called for.
I'd like you to begin to notice the effect of sexual vibes in small and large interactions. The knack is to identify them, especially the dicey ones, so you won't protectively glaze over in the daily hubbub. Sometimes, in the bank line or car wash, you may feel someone's vibes just by being near their energy field. The person need not specifically "do" anything. On the other hand, think about flirting, an erotic energy exchange which is often intentional. A provocative word. A come-hither glance. Your energy meter may register such gestures as positive--a possible prelude to romance--or negative, a smarmy imposition. No right or wrong about your intuitions. What matters is how you feel around a persons energy.
For scooping out vibes, here are some trusty indicators:
Signs of Positive Sexual Energy:
Signs of Negative Sexual Energy:
- Respectful of boundaries
- Vitalizing, safe, whole
- Smothering, manipulative
- Chilling (creepy, crawly, like you’ve been slimed)
- Intrusive (draining, unsafe)
Make Changes Now. Reading Sexual Energy in Daily Life.
Now you're going to put the above signs to work. The gist of this exercise is to notice how your body intuitively responds when gauging the vibes of someone new or familiar. It could be a romantic interest or not. Get used to tuning into this aspect of people. Pay special attention to sensations in your sexual energy center. I intuitively sense this area as a flower: around some people it opens, around others it tightens up. See what your response is. In addition ask yourself: Am I generally relaxed with how he or she projects sexuality? Repelled? Neutral? Rate the intensity. Is the energy too much? Just right? Not enough? Don’t make excuses for the person. When it comes to intrusive energy, a cigar is usually a cigar. Call it like it is. Practice self-care by moving toward vibes which suit your sexual wavelength.