WARNING: This book is a lighthearted practical health guide. Laughter may be a side effect.

• Approximately 90% of all headaches are tension headaches. Perhaps they should be called "tension neck- and backaches" because it's the tightening of the neck and back muscles that usually creates the head pain. The old Persian proverb that says, "The bigger a man's head, the worse his headache," may be correct after all: the extra weight on the neck and the extra ego that comes with a big or swollen head may be enough to make anyone feel top heavy.
• Tension headaches seem to be an equal opportunity affliction. They can be caused by almost any type of stress: too much or too little exertion, too much or too little excitement, too hot or too cold temperature, too much or too little sleep, too erect or too limp posture, too much or too little food, and so on.
• A tension headache can lead to irresponsible behavior. Even these, though may do have a practical value. It allows you to tell your spouse, "I can't do the dishes, honey." You can tell your employer, "I can't finish that project." You can tell your children, "Shut-up and stop having fun." This selfish behavior, of course, will hopefully lead you rest and to take care of your headache. Sometimes it seems that a headache is nature's way of telling you to relax.

If, however, your teeth are clenched so tightly that people think you're doing a Clint Eastwood impersonation, if your neck is so tight that U.S. Steel wants to patent this musculature, and if your eyeballs hurt when you move them, even across this page, then you are paying the price of not resting enough and enjoying yourself. You now have some catch-up to do.

• If your eyes are not cooperating with you, get someone to read you the following strategies to you.

Strategy #1: Don't relax...at least not yet. An effective technique for reducing tension headaches is to tighten the muscles in the head, neck, and jaw for 5-10 seconds...and then release them. You may find that you will be able to achieve a deep level of relaxation and relief from this simple exercise.

Strategy #2: Get in touch with the temples. Remember the old aspirin commercials showing a furrow-browed man with an awful headache? As you may recall, he is seen massaging his temples. There are important acupressure points at the temples which can be used to relieve tension. Place four fingers (not the thumb) along both temples and do a circular massaging motion. Massage for a minute...and call me in the morning.

Strategy #3: Head to acupressure. The head and neck are full of invaluable acupressure points which can release tension when they are pressed firmly. Search your head and neck for "hot" points, that is, points that seem to be sensitive to pressure. Press them for at least five seconds, then relax for five seconds. Repeat several times.

Strategy #4: Your head is in your hands. There is an acupuncture point just barely under the bottom of the nail of your middle finger. If the pain is primarily on one side, then press the point on the hand of that side, and if it's on both sides, then alternate pressing this point on each hand.