Option B: Don't give negative behavior any juice. Be careful not to engage negative sexual vibes. Limit eye contact with the source of difficulty, and avoid handshakes or hugs; this reduces the energy exchange. Emotionally, keep breathing and centering yourself. Exhale negative vibes out so they don’t stick in you. Also, don’t silently sizzle with irritation or rage; this energetically signals that you’re still playing this game. Instead, go about your business. Be loving with your friend, and cordial to her husband. When the problem person doesn't have anything to hook onto energetically he or she will likely lose interest.
Respect your intuition about the sexual willies. If someone doesn't do anything obviously creepy, you can still get the willies. Instinctively, you're picking up something unsafe about this energy. Say, it's a group of teenagers on the street: don't hesitate to maneuver around them. In the case of the auto mechanic I mentioned, get a new one. One of my patients couldn't put her finger on why she felt strangely uneasy around an electrician during a remodel of her home. She downplayed the intuition until one day he took it upon himself to tuck in the label of her blouse. This trespassing of her space pushed her over the edge; she hired a different electrician, an option I'd supported all along. Sometimes it's simply smart to duck out of a situation without making an issue of the vibes. Whenever you can switch a peripheral people, do so.
Inappropriate vibes also can arise with a masseuse or energy healer. It isn't necessarily what they say or do. Knowingly or not, they mix sexual energy into treatments. Many of my patients have tolerated this too long because they've questioned themselves. It's the worst feeling to be stuck in a massage, totally exposed, and have these weird vibes, intrusive vibes coming at you. You may want to get someone different. (Some people are more comfortable with same-sex masseuses). Or, if you have rapport with the practitioner, mention the issue once. If he or she was unaware of sending this energy and are open to change, terrific. However, if the vibes doesn’t stop, the person is not for you.
My friend Angela, a gospel choir director in a church with a congregation of thousands, has had to become the queen of boundary setting. Now, she does it with such grace, though coming from an abusive home where boundaries didn't exist, it took determination to get good at it. Garbed in brightly colored African robes, Angela likes to greet her congregants after a service. A few words for each, sometimes a hug. Angela is an expert reader of energy, is clear about staying heart-centered, but not sending sexual vibes. Sometimes, though, people have their own agenda. Angela told me, "Every week this one man kept hugging me too tight. It felt needy and slightly seductive. His energy was gooey, like fly paper. So I had to communicate to him, 'It's nice to see you, but I'd rather we didn't hug. It doesn't feel comfortable.'" You'd think a statement like this might set someone off or offend them. But Angela conveyed it with such sweetness and respect that the congregant took it in the spirit intended. From then on, he respected her boundaries. The upshot was she didn't have to dread seeing him each week or be subjected to energy that felt off.
As a medical student I experienced the horror of having to keep my mouth shut around hot-shot surgeons who'd tell disgusting sexist jokes in the operating room. At a time when a patient is exquisitely vulnerable--out cold and being cut open--only positive vibes are called for. Of course, the surgeons didn't acknowledge that words are action, that their talk energetically violated both patient and students present. Perhaps I could've said something to my supervisors--but I lacked confidence, was afraid of retaliation. Today, with increased public scrutiny of workplace indiscretions, I'd counsel medical students to surface these issues with their program chiefs.