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 Modern Day Noah:  
 
The following is one in an ongoing series of columns entitled Mind Over Matter by . View all columns in series

With renewed determination, Noah's team began leveling massive cedar trees in the local forest. That's when the Environmental Protection Agency arrived with an injunction. Noah's explanation for the widespread flood and devastation that was about to occur wasn't classifiable within their well-established guidelines. After a lengthy and costly battle funded by a few dedicated supporters, the agency finally conceded it didn’t have planetary jurisdiction anyway. Well behind schedule and without time to celebrate, Noah's team began working on the ark again.

All seemed to be going well for a while until one day officers from the National Park Foundation handed Noah a subpoena to appear in Federal Court. Their charges were simple - destroying cedar trees was further compromising the already-endangered habitat of the spotted owl. Noah assured them he would take a pair, yet the trial continued for months. Eventually the high court dropped the case when the prosecutor couldn't present a single spotted owl in a cedar tree as evidence.

That's when the Occupational Safety Commission and the Consumer Product Safety Commission joined forces. They contended the ark was risky and dangerous to its passengers. Despite arguments that the ark and its inhabitants were protected by God, a legal entanglement ensued for months. By then what was left of the ragtag team of ark-builders progressively lost interest. Eventually the Feds gave in, and Noah was back on track with less help of course.

Not surprisingly, the publicity Noah received wasn't all positive. For as soon as he began building again, the National Flood Commission paid him a visit and demanded a detailed flood plan. When Noah held up a globe, that overt insult resulted in a stiff fine. Yet Noah believed in God and with all of his resources, he persevered.

At long last, the ark was taking shape. New recruits were again working with great enthusiasm, animals from around the world were being gathered and Noah was convinced he could just about finish on time. There was also a renewed sense of hope and purpose. Unfortunately it was short-lived.

For the Internal Revenue Service arrived a few weeks later, boarded up the ark and confiscated the animals for failure to make estimated payments on potential revenues. There was simply no energy left to argue the point that no one would be paying taxes next year.

Despair finally set in - Noah was beaten. Sitting on his porch, he gazed upon the nearly completed ark realizing he could not meet God’s deadline. He looked toward the heavens and he wept incessantly.

As he cried, a strange sensation overtook him. It was the voice of God again. "Noah, my son, tell me why you are crying." With tears flowing like flood waters, Noah recounted his many frustrating attempts to comply with the Almighty's directive. "I’ve failed you, my Lord," he said.

"You have not failed me, my son, but you have changed my mind. I do not have to flood the earth. What you call ‘government’ has destroyed it already!"

That Saturday morning a group of people, some of whom were about to lose their jobs in the year to come, laughed, applauded and realized that everything is relative. "Modern Day Noah" set the stage for a light-hearted, open-minded and positive perspective. It also clearly demonstrated that laughter in the face of adversity may very well be the best medicine--Mind Over Matter!

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 About The Author
Barry Bittman, MD is a neurologist, author, international speaker, award-winning producer/director and inventor. As CEO and Medical Director of the Mind-Body Wellness Center, a......moreBarry Bittman MD
 
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